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Truckload of Philosophers

by Hannah Bingman

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1.
Please Leave 03:46
Please leave I don’t wanna hear you sing no more Please leave and don’t forget to shut the door Please leave before I give in to temptation Please leave or send me into damnation Because if you stay any longer I might miss you more than I should Then I’d ask for forever You know I would Please leave before I say something wrong Please leave we’re getting too well along Please leave before I lose all my senses But just stay here for a few more minutes It’s just that much to fill me up But I have never had enough Go away back to where you came from Can’t say that I’ll miss you when you’re gone Can’t say that I asked you to stay And maybe I like it that way But you’re only twenty feet out the door I guess that’s just twenty feet too far away And if I could hear my-silly-self now And all the stupid things I say Please leave before my composure comes undone Who’ll piece me back together when you’re gone Please leave I don’t need your company Please leave you take up all my energy Here I am dissolving in your hands And you are absorbing me as fast as you can As fast as you can Please leave I don’t wanna hear you sing no more
2.
Is it lack of neurons or lack of oxygen to the brain? Is it just me Mom or has this whole world gone insane? I got a generation of brilliant minds waiting to be suppressed with idle hands I got a truckload of philosophers and experts who can’t quite understand And it frightens me to think that they’re making a big dollar off this degradable war After all, we just wanna even up the score So don’t ask me if this nation I hold so dear if I also hold it to be true But in the state of this retaliation, I can’t say that I do You can’t tie me down this time You can’t tie me down this time You can’t tie me down this time One barbaric deed never goes undone The vengeance is so thick now I can feel it congealing in my lungs I’m not just going to sit on my hands and try to make sense of it all I’m not going to hide in my bomb shelter scratching my head raw There’s blood on their hands now there’s blood on ours too But if we realize by this so-called “justicing” it’s not something we can undo So don’t ask me if this nation I hold so dear if I also hold it to be true But in the state of this retaliation, I can’t say that I do You can’t tie me down this time You can’t tie me down this time You can’t tie me down this time Now we deposit philanthropy in the least reachable places After we bomb a whole country for the sake of completing a list of most wanted faces And I don’t know what the strategy is if there is one at all Now we’d rather tear down then repair the flaws And the cracks in the media just reaffirm my doubts And if you’re talking about warfare then just count me out So don’t ask me if this nation I hold so dear if I also hold it to be true But in the state of this retaliation, I can’t say that I do You can’t tie me down this time You can’t tie me down this time You can’t tie me down this time
3.
Lesson #47 04:49
Let this be a lesson to me That I should elaborate For all the words that I have muddled Never could equate For the desires I’ve repressed Now I’m regressing with age Yet for the rest of these ailments you deem to alleviate In this contradictory world We are but two young babes And the most that we can do here Is learn from the mistakes Yet I wish that i knew why it is That my chest labors And the least that I can do for you Is return the favor How can I not help but feel Like I am slipping from my own control Standing here with a shovel Just digging my own hole And I can’t stay away From the one thing that temps me You are by far the most beautiful Thing I’ve ever seen How typical of me Just to say that it’s all wrong Even more typical of me To put it down in some cheesy song Because talk is overrated and games even more ‘Til the point where you’ve played so hard You lost track of the score Now there is no way around it Except to jump in it And one day you find you are just Drowning in it It’s euphoric to fall Until you find your knees are bleeding You discover the difference Between wanting and needing In your presence I am but a torpid mess What once was so despondent Is now listless and languorous What once was so dormant Is now in its wakened state To you I admit my defeat To you my gratitude is great Now I know this feeling That they say is like fighting gravity Now I have a name for the effect that you have on me It’s euphoric to fall Until you find your knees are bleeding You discover the difference Between wanting and needing
4.
Watch out I’m coming in Who cares how you have been Because we’re here for your cash And you can watch the evening news To see your lottery ticket lose But you know you’ll just keep sitting on your ass And I have heard what the capitalists say But I know of better ways Because when it trickles down to me I’ll be more than dead Of course we all seem so jaded For this poverty is not fading But of course we only know from the newspapers we’ve read What goes around never seems to come around What comes around never seems to end up here What goes up never ever comes down The rules of gravity somehow don’t apply to here Anorexic girls in their million dollar pearls With cell phones strapped to their cheeks This virtual society feeds my social anxiety And the connections that just have to be reached What goes around never seems to come around What comes around never seems to end up here What goes up never ever comes down The rules of gravity somehow don’t apply to here What’s my motivation Is it my lack of education Of my ability to read between the lines The certificates on these walls Just don’t mean nothing at all But just a waste of time What goes around never seems to come around What comes around never seems to end up here What goes up never ever comes down The rules of gravity somehow don’t apply to here The rules of gravity just don’t apply to here The rules of gravity somehow don’t apply to here
5.
Uncle Sam 04:06
Down down down we go Down to where we started from We’re losing sight of the light To where our forefathers must have come What is it about this regression We are locked into a nationwide depression Vote after vote time after time We keep losing our minds So tell me about it uncle sam For all that we’ve lost We’re holding onto all that we can We want to progress but we just regress And we can’t find the source Complain about all but ourselves And we’re running off course All we hear about is who is winning it in the polls Have we become the ignorant fools They think that we’re lazy Until it comes to the dividends What you see is what you get Until I’m elected president What would we need with a millionaire asshole like you But we say “ok this is just going to have to do For the next four years” What is it with our apathy I don’t think it’s something only i can see And if we don’t do something now Who will help us out If we don’t do something now Who is going to help us out So tell me about it uncle sam For all that we’ve lost We’re holding onto all that we can We’re free we’re here And I thought the message was so clear If you’re not helping you are just in the way If you’re not helping you are just in the way
6.
End Up First 03:37
There is a man upstairs nine stories higher than I He is squinting through his spectacles separating land from sky He oversees the rise and fall of his business each day He lives his life through the profits of the money that he makes What’s ethical and economical are two very different things Because it ain’t over until the government sings We desensitize ourselves with these aspirations full of greed Because we have these illusions of the things we think we need We’re eating off of cardboard trays Living through an angry phase Wondering where all the virtue went Begging and begging for the things that we can’t afford Making the millions because we can America the beautiful, home of this stock market game We study our Wall Street Journals hoping another dollar could be made It’s a bull market today but it’s a bear market the next And we stumble around with our huge wallets Holding more than enough to pay the rent We’re eating off of cardboard trays Living through an angry phase Wondering where all the virtue went Begging and begging for the things that we can’t afford Making the millions because we can We like our profits big and our outlooks small Our cars fast and our buildings tall We spend a fortune for a shirt without a dime to trickle down Because we don’t know the man in the dirty shirt Working in a factory downtown We’re eating off of cardboard trays Living through an angry phase Wondering where all the virtue went Begging and begging for the things that we can’t afford Making the millions because we can We cloud our perceptions with “oh, it’ll get there.” “They’ve got enough. they’ve got their share.” But don’t turn your heads to it or pinch the pennies in your purse Because it tends the ones who are left below are gonna always end up first The ones who are left below are gonna always end up first We’re eating off of cardboard trays Living through an angry phase Wondering where all the virtue went Begging and begging for the things that we can’t afford Making the millions because we can
7.
Number Song 03:38
I’m half an inch from my 1 last jump And it’s way 2 steep for me to judge Well, it’s 3 times a charm And I got 4 choices left I’s forwards, backwards, up or down And I choose the 5th Yeah I choose the 5th It was 6 whole years of my life I watched go by Now it’s 7 more months Then it’s do or die Well I’m reaching past the 8 And I’m at the 9 again Now I’m just one away from my perfect 10 It’s 11 times I tried And 12 more I will attempt But it looks like lucky 13 hasn’t failed me yet I was 14 years old And I was 15 when i knew That 16 comes so fast And the rest sneak up on you I had 17 steps But I took 18 instead Because 19 was too many And 20 was on the ledge Well I’m reaching past the 8 And I’m at the 9 again Now I’m just one away from my perfect 10
8.
Sorry I Am 04:47
I know I’m not a pretty sight But I could clean up well At least I don’t smell bad As far as I can tell I know I’m not a Cindy Crawford And I’m not a Tyra Banks And to both of my parents I owe all of my thanks Just what you see Isn’t always just what you get If you think about it first You just might regret Choosing the pretty girl Just because she hangs well on your arm Well, a girl with a brain Never did a boy no harm Sorry I am Not a trophy for your fire place I’m sorry I am Not just another pretty face You don’t have to be sorry But you don’t have to be proud Of all your ignorant thinking Yet you sing it so loud This is what I was given by birth So I’ll just have to “make do” Yet when I think of perfection I don’t picture you Maybe you should read a book And I could practice my poise And you could listen to something other than The sound of your own voice Sorry I am So hard to comprehend Sorry I am Not so shallow, not so shallow But how’d you like to be on the outside looking in On everybody else’s romance? How’d you like to be just the pretty girl’s best friend When no one’s gonna give you chance? Sorry I don’t have the body you dreamed of Sorry that I have a mind of my own Sorry that I may be a little different from the rest Sorry I won’t enlarge my breasts I know I’m not a pretty picture And I’m not sure who painted me But I know he painted you too Whoever you may be Sorry I am I’m sorry i am Sorry I am I’m sorry I am
9.
So much I’ve done wrong Oh Lord, redeem me So much I’ve done wrong Please redeem me I’ve been sleeping on stones Sleeping on dirt Living on coal And this fiery Hell is taunting me down Won’t you save my soul So much I’ve done wrong Please believe me I want to do right please redeem me I’ve been sleeping on stones Sleeping on dirt Living on coal And this fiery Hell is taunting me down Won’t you save my soul I want to do right I want to do right I want to do right I want to do right My shoulders failed I lost my head Now I’m stuck here In this tortuous bed I’ve been sleeping on stones Sleeping on dirt Living on coal And this fiery Hell is taunting me down Won’t you save my soul I dug my heels In too deep Now I’m left here In this feverish sleep I’ve been sleeping on stones Sleeping on dirt Living on coal And this fiery Hell is taunting me down Won’t you save my soul I want to do right I want to do right I want to do right I want to do right I drowned myself In my dirty deeds So much I’ve done wrong Please redeem me I’ve been sleeping on stones Sleeping on dirt Living on coal And this fiery Hell is taunting me down Won’t you save my soul Won’t you save my soul I want to do right I want to do right I want to do right I want to do right
10.
You Suck 03:54
I am rubber and you are glue And everything you say bounces of me And sticks to you You are the splinter in my hand The math problem I can’t understand It’s half as much as I’d like to know It’s half as much as I’d like to learn But I didn’t want to know you And I never asked for your name But you left me shit out of luck And for that You suck Sticks and stones may break my bones But words are even worse And I can sit here and cliché all day But I’m still left with an empty verse It’s twice as much as I’ll ever know It’s twice as much as I’ll ever learn But I didn’t want to know you And I never asked for your name But you left me shit out of luck And for that You suck Maybe you’re a dime a dozen But a penny saved is a penny earned Well I got enough in my bank account But some spare change wouldn’t hurt It’s more than I’ll ever know It’s more than I’ll ever learn But I didn’t want to know you And I never asked for your name But you left me shit out of luck And for that You suck You suck You suck
11.
Here I stand in my fading spotlight And I’m holding on to every last bit of the bulb It’s a dimly lit scene and i’m pawing through the dark Trying to find another light switch along the wall Maybe it’s just a disconnected wire or maybe it’s my disconnect brain When the light bulb went and blew out, I blew out just the same Was it something so foreseeable that I could have predicted? Or was it something so predictable that I could have foreseen? Here I sit in my bright interrogation light But they can’t squeeze the answers out of me It’s a blinding situation and I’m crawling on the floor Trying to make my way around all the feet Maybe there are just too many watts in the bulb for the lamp to take Because I can see light spots when I close my eyes It won’t be long before I break Well, was it something so foreseeable that I could have predicted? Or was it something so predictable that I could have foreseen? Here I sit by my television light With my eyes glued right to the screen And I sit so close that all I make out are spots of red, blue, and green Won’t be long before I change the channel to another late night show Won’t be long before my cable runs out and I’m just gonna have to let go Well, was it something so foreseeable that I could have predicted? Or was it something so predictable that I could have foreseen?

credits

released January 1, 2003

Hannah Bingman - guitar, vocals
Ed Kenepp - bass
Kevin Thomas - drums
James Harton - keys
Bob Klotz - electric guitars

Produced by Skip Kline

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Hannah Bingman State College, Pennsylvania

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